Trauma dump
Around 6 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me and I kinda saw it coming a few months out. I noticed she distanced herself from me and would just act strange around me. Another thing is we wouldn’t kiss or anything physical because of this I started watching porn to “help” with no physical touch which was one of the worst decisions of my life because it made my perception of physical touch in a relationship and it made me seek it more and due to that she distanced even further. For months after I would blame her for not loving me or being distant, but I realized it was because of me. Because of this god-forsaken addiction that I got hooked on. I lost a girl I truly loved because of my greed and lust. And I’m STRUGGLING to quit but trying I get a week in and then I just think to myself what’s one more time? Just to get me through the next week and I hate it with a passion. If you took the time to read my book I just put before you. Please give me advice on how to give this up.
For the past few months I’ve been trying to get closer to God and I think it helps. The feeling of letting him down after promising it’s the last time is awful and I always feel like I don’t deserve to talk to him, but I know the bible says that isn’t the case so I still try to pray every day. Thanks for the advice tho and God bless.