Your Sister in Christ: Day 4✝️
I woke up this morning feeling very weak and unmotivated to even get out of bed. My room was dark, raining outside, and I just felt paralyzed. Didn’t feel like doing anything productive..but I decided to go outside in my car after freshening up and getting high like I do when I feel this way. Usually I feel a bit more relaxed and motivated to do some more important things but this time my mind just felt very fogged. It was like an eye-opening experience that I’m not as much as a “good person” like others think I am. I still have lustful thoughts every single day, I gossip about others and listen to gossip, I get too angry and frustrated at my mother when she’s the only parent I have alive, and I’m just so nonchalant about my future that I get high all the time just to desensitize everything around me. Which is why..I decided after a few hours waiting for the high to go away that I was gonna quit. Smoking weed is also one of my many ways to get tempted into watching porn and when I smoke my body feels weak enough to give into temptation. I feel like God has been telling me for a while that I have to quit smoking and I’m finally taking that step and listening to him for the first time in a while. It’s gonna be hard at first to stop cold turkey but I know I will feel better in the end. To my sister in Christ Kathryn: Thank you for your kind messages I see every time I post :) it really warms my heart knowing there’s I have a sister in Christ that’s going on this journey with me. God bless 🤍 To my brothers in Christ Michael, Robert, Logan: I wouldn’t have made this decision if you didn’t persuade me to give God another chance. I still have a lot of work to do on rebuilding myself, but the thought of changing myself for the better is the first step of many :)
This makes me so joyful! God continues to inspire you to take step and after step to draw even closer to Him. This is so exciting! True peace and joy only comes from your relationship with God, as you come closer and closer these things will begin to increase. Thank you for exposing this shortcoming to the light and allowing God in. Praise the Lord!! (: