I feel like giving up
Tbh, I’m the villain of my own story. I want so bad to give this shit up but at the same time, starting to believe that I won’t and can’t. I’m married. Have a beautiful family. I’ve just been so goddamn stressed. Arguing with my wife and getting short with her more and more and feeling like I’m being nagged and then with work and then finding out I’m being dragged to court for an auto accident that was literally the other parties fault but they are claiming is mine and my insurance isn’t fighting shit..it’s all just getting to me and I’ve relapsed back and forth many times within the last few weeks. I have like a week in between and then something happens and relapse. I literally go into my settings and turn off the filters and shit. Like what the actual hell. How can I want so desperately to combat this if I just willingly undo what I have in place. I should want to make love with my wife..but sometimes i give excuses to her because im just not in the mood with everything going on but yet i jack off to these fucking free cam sites and shit. Yes, I know..I’m a piece of shit. I’ve told her she should leave me because I feel this is all I am and will be and that I don’t think I’ll fight it. If I use porn and shit as a way to fight the bullshit that happens in my life..I’ll never be free because shit happens all the time
You should talk to your wife, and not tell her she should leave you. Tell her you love her and you want to fix this problem, but that you're going to need her help. You could even have her set up parental control with a code that only she knows. That way, if you want to relapse you're going to have to ask your wife.