Why does it feel like nothing changed?
I just lost my 21 day streak. This was my first time pursuing this goal of being porn free in my life and the first time I’ve ever lost my streak. I lost it due to some advertisement that popped up on my Snapchat triggering a memory that made the urge too strong and I folded. Btw Snapchat was the only thing I kept social media/messaging wise, i deleted all the other social media apps I had, and I also had the content blocker on. But I guess the content blocker doesn’t cover everything because when the urge took over, after seeing the ad on Snapchat, I went to safari where the ad was and could view it without the blocker stopping me. Which sucks because if the content blocker was better I wouldn’t have been able to fold as easy. But anyways, what I’m struggling to understand now is the fact that I don’t feel bad. I don’t even feel good. I just feel like nothing changed but this app says I’m changing in ways I don’t feel I am. How am I supposed to keep on this path if I don’t feel good or bad from going either path?
Hey man! Congrats on hitting 21 days! That’s almost a whole month! I saw your post and a couple points stood out to me, so I wanted to try to offer some advice/help. I know it sounds strange to say on an app about quitting porn, but it’s okay to lose your streak. This app is about a long journey to quit porn, and there will always be bumps along that road. That being said, I don’t think you should feel good about it either. It’s better to realize that you broke the streak, and why it happened, so that you can try again. So instead of feeling bad about losing your streak, try challenging yourself to get a longer streak this time. That way, when you feel the urge again you can say “ah but I wanted to get a longer streak than last time” and maybe help yourself from caving to that urge. Remember, going completely clean from porn/masturbation deprives your brain of a big source of constant/easy dopamine it used to have all the time, so it will probably take a good couple of months to see real progress and feel much better about yourself. In the meantime, you will probably feel very bland about the whole ordeal, so making little challenges for yourself to achieve can get a bit of dopamine and make it a little easier to hold out. Overall try to enjoy it, make little challenges like “I’ll make it to the end of this month this time” and if you hit that goal you can try to make it to next month or anything along those lines. And if you do end up caving again (which you should still try to avoid) make that in itself a challenge, try to show yourself that you won’t give up on it and try again, and again, until you finally succeed. Remember that you can always enjoy yourself in moderation, so if you cave, it’s okay! Just come back from it with an even longer streak every time! Hope something I said could spark a little bit of inspiration, good luck on your next streak!