Full transparency post

I downloaded this app two days ago, to be honest, I wasn’t looking for it. I still don’t know how I found it. But I know that it was all God! Since downloading the app the last two days, I have relapse twice. The relapses were actually within the first 12 hours. I learned a lot in day one. Basically ways to cut myself off from triggers and put up fire walls to help me. Shortly after that, This past weekend, my older sister asked me to go to lunch. It was a bit odd because we are very close, but she doesn’t typically reach out like this. My family has recently become estranged from one of our older brothers that was adopted. It was tough for me because I have always looked up to this brother. The reason, my sister asked me to lunch, was to tell me that she had been sexually assaulted by our older brother, since she was a teenager. This really hit a cord for me! As she broke down in tears and shared her testimony, the abuse that she endured, and how it affect her mentally, physically, and her relationships. It broke my heart! We grew up in a Christian household, my sister came out as Gay when she was in high school. Dated women and then eventually married her high school sweetheart BF. A full 180, and Christ has truly worked in her life. But she still has baggage and the only way to deal with it was to share the truth. I was the last person she told., And she wrestled with the idea of telling me. But I am so glad that she did. Learning of the sexual trauma that she endured has given me so much more motivation to beat this addiction of porn, pornography, and lust! I want to lead by example for my family, my future spouse, and my children. I am not making excuses for my adopted brother that abused my sister all these years, but I can only imagine what years of pornography can do to the mind. It corrupt, it steals, and it destroys relationships. I was so angry learning about the terrible acts that were done to my sister by my older brother. And now, I can relate the same anger to the struggle with pornography. I hate what it has done to me, the damage it has caused to my mind, my physical state, my relationships, just as Past sexual trauma has hurt my sister. I have this inner rage now to beat this cycle! Pornography is evil, and I am so done with the pain and trauma it has caused in my life. I am officially over the one day mark porn free! I have zero urges, but I know they will come. If this story can give you any motivation to keep the good fight! I hope it helped you. Don’t give up, remember why you started! This journey will not be easy, but it will be so worth it!