Story in a nutshell

What’s up all. Sharing my story with others tends to help me shed any shame I have of my addiction. I’ve been drawn to lusting after women ever since I can remember. I remember when I was 4 or 5 sneaking into the bathroom to look at my sister’s Victoria secret magazines. I never grew out of it and eventually was introduced to porn at age 11. I tried so many times to quit. God, scriptures, prayer, talking with religious leaders. None of it seemed to help. My faith in God has wavered. Not that he doesn’t exist but that he doesn’t care about me. Later in life I got married and she had no idea I had this problem. I eventually came clean to her but we never kept the discussion going and I kept it a secret. About 11 years into our marriage I ended up having an affair with a co worker. My wife eventually found out and that’s when she came to know the true depths of my addiction. We struggled for a few years but our relationship is stronger than ever and we talk frequently about my addiction. I joined support groups and they helped for a while. Longest streak was 6 weeks. I ended up throwing my hands up and just accepting this was going to be a part of my life and stopped trying to fight it. I’m here now because I don’t want anything in my life to have power over me except God. It’s going to be a process but I’m going to start working towards that.