I keep letting myself down

It's been about 3 months since I started on this app. I had some good streaks in the beginning and even managed 28 days at one point, but I'm here again. I'm stuck. I can't get past these first days. It's always day 3 or 4. Please help me, I can't keep doing this. I don't understand how I can feel so different before and after I do it. I don't want it. Please, I want it to stop