Shell of my former self

@ThorB4, thank you for writing this insightful message to me, brother. I pray that you may be blessed. You have no idea how much this consoled to me.

Fessing up, not feeding up

These are tough situations, for sure. And you’re absolutely right—the right answer is to run away from this in the future! As for feeding up to your gf, you’ve got to examine your motives. If it is to clear your guilt, then you’d be bringing the pain of your mistake (near betrayal) on her just to clear your conscience, and is that the right thing to do to her? I had to talk to guys on my submarine about this kind of thing when we were returning to port after deployments, and they had slipped up with a liberty port tramp. In most cases, the guys decided it was not right to tell their wives about their overseas one time indiscretion, because they never repeated, were never going to, the wife could never find out without hubby telling. There was just no good to come from him telling her except clearing his conscience, but at a huge cost of her pain and who knows what cost to the marriage and family.