Relapsed on April 30th – Time to Come Clean and Restart

After 15 days of progress, I relapsed again — this time on April 30th. The cause? Friend influence. And I hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. I had shared with a close male friend that I’m battling porn addiction. While I thought he understood, it turns out he didn’t take it as seriously as I do. Every now and then, he sends me sexually suggestive reels on Instagram. I usually delete them right away — but by the time I see them, the damage is already done. That one flash, that one glance, strikes a nerve. It poisons the mind and plants a seed that slowly grows until I let my guard down. And eventually, I relapse — not because of that one moment, but because of what it triggers inside me over time. My mistake this time? I thought I could resist. I thought I could test my will and win. But I’ve learned something: When you fight an urge head-on, it often grows stronger. Instead of saying “I won’t do it,” I’ll now try a softer but smarter mindset: “I’ll do it later… just not today.” Let the urge pass like a wave, without feeding it. Also, I’ve realized it’s not just about mindset — it’s about environmental control. So from now on: • I’m going to block or mute any account or source that sends sexually triggering content. • I’m going to have a serious conversation with my friend. He’s not a bad person — just not as committed to this fight as I am. But this is non-negotiable. I’ll be clear: if you’re my friend, don’t send me anything sexual. Period. This journey has ups and downs, but I’m not giving up. I’m restarting from May 1st, 2025, and carrying the lessons with me. April 15th to April 30th was a battle — and even though I lost one round, I’m still in the war. Let’s go again. Smarter. Clearer. Stronger.