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Why do it?

Day 0
by Macc
29 upvotes

I’ve asked myself this everytime. Why am I doin this? I’ve found some answers. I’m lonely. However the connection I crave is love, with a women who cherishes me as I her. Disconnect from myself, as well as discontent. Being angry at myself and circumstances, I find a very temporary relief with porn. Being a straight male of course a nice ass and boobs on an attractive woman are amazing. However I’ve come to realize the caring goofy kid that cared more about her is gone. Replaced with someone angry and resentful. Another reason is my generation seems to chase casual sex. I do not. Not tryna pass judgment, but it’s a lil hurtful honestly. Sure, in that regard I may be “sensitive”. However the more I’ve grown the more I realize that when a man looses sensitivity, he becomes what he hates the most. I’ve fallen into a pit of snakes, as they surround me all I can think of is looking over the edge. No longer curiosity but regret. So again I plead with myself, “why”. Why do this again, knowing what the outcome will be. A potential chop in the bridge you’re attempting to build to become the man you want to be. The image of you who you don’t know but wish to meet. The younger me would be disappointed. In no way does porn cripple my life, nor is it the full malice against my wants. However it plays its role. Lust is a strong one. One to run from, yet again. I peak over the edge with curiosity, just to fall in again.

Comments (3)
Hunter Zaylan52d ago

Of course. If you ever want to talk about anything my Instagram is hunterzaylan2k22.

Macc52d ago

God bless you my friend. I appreciate your words. I know what I want and I feel porn as well as my own personal issues inhibit me from following the steps to get there. I have been attempting to build my relationship with god; of course I feel as thought I constantly disappoint. Knowing it’s the road less traveled, I find solice in it. Most of all however, I want to be a man my son can look to and be proud of. Following my footsteps with grace, exultant at who his father is and the things he’s done. I’m 24, it’s a rough road. As I said I fill my empty space regarding hurt and lost love with porn. I hate it. However I know I don’t want it. It’s the part of me that needs cut off. Being that as it may, I’ve realized it’s deeper than watching something to pleasure myself. Wish you the best, again I appreciate your words man.

Hunter Zaylan53d ago

Well said brother. The way you are feeling is probably how 95% of people feel that are struggling with a pornography addiction. We live in a world where casual sex, objectifying people, and overall hedonism has become the norm and if you don’t want to follow this hedonistic narrative then your labeled as a “white knight” or a “Simp” while that label can be placed in certain situations, Yearning for something more Spiritually meaningful like marriage, having children, etc.. isn’t one of those situations. My Advice to your brother is to focus on god, don’t be hypercritical of yourself if you fall off the wagon falling into despair is Satans main mission because we stop going to god for help because we don’t feel worthy, and lastly don’t dwell in the past and don’t try to anticipate the future. Live in the present and focus on the present and your current circumstances. God bless you brother.

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