Day 1: Bedtime Battle

I had a strong urge before bed. No erection, but my brain was clearly wanting me to get erected and chase a dopamine hit from porn arousal. It was around 11 PM. I was scrolling through IG, seeing attractive women but not even seductive/nsfw photos, just regular posts and reels. But my mind wasn’t satisfied. It kept saying, “This isn’t enough. Go to your favorite porn site.” Then my phone died. Low battery. I paused. I thought about switching to my computer… but I was also kinda tired. I checked the time, it was already 12am, and reminded myself, “If I want energy to hit the gym this morning, I need to sleep now.” So I chose discipline. I went to sleep. But sleep didn’t come easy. My body kept waking me up, like it was urging me to give in. It felt like withdrawal. I even had a dream about my celebrity crush naked in a video! Wtf hahaha! In my dream, I still dream of watching porn. But I didn’t break. I stayed down. I extended my sleep a bit longer (an hour after my alarm) in the morning because I kinda feel restless from past night. When I got up at 6am, I still followed through and went to the gym. That’s day 1. Not perfect, but I won.