My Story

I first stumbled across 🌽 at a very young age (11 or 12). I remember I was watching YouTube and in my suggested videos on the side was certain video that I clicked on. It made me feel good. I found more videos like it over time and then eventually in the description of one of those videos was a link. It brought me to a website with a lot worse content—this content had nudity. The addiction truly started there. I am 18 years old now and I’m about to graduate high school. I have fapped over 1,000+ times. My head is so twisted that I see beautiful women as objects and I create fantasies in my head, but the truth is they are real people with goals and dreams. I can’t remember things well now, I’m not as smart as I used to be, My social life has been affected, My ears ring every now and then, Etc.. Every single day for like the past 4 years I keep telling myself this is the last time. But it isn’t—I fail within 1 or 2 days. Even when I was in a relationship for 2 years I couldn’t stop. I felt so guilty and I opened up with her about it. She was so supportive to help me stop, but it wasn’t enough. I tried my best for her, but failed. We’re not together anymore for religious reasons. But speaking of religion, I have recently gotten saved, and I’m dedicating my life to walking with Jesus. God doesn’t want this in my life. This addiction is so sinful. It damages the body that God gifted me while my soul is upon this Earth. My body and everyone else’s body is a temple, and it shouldn’t be hurt. I’ve even struggled with 🌽 since being saved for about 4ish months now. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT…If I can’t quit for myself, I oughta quit for something bigger than me. God doesn’t want this in my life. I love Jesus!—Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice on the cross for these sins of mine. I’m doing this out of my love for Jesus and to build a closer relationship with Him. I want to honor God by being a Godly and loving father/husband in the future. I think that’s nearly impossible with a 🌽 addiction. I know life is going to be so much better after just getting through the first few days. It won’t be easy, I know. I hope that God will strengthen me through this addiction battle. 🙌🙌 Today is Day 1 without 🌽