Day 17. Slow rise from the dark

Idk how I feel. I feel lost but new at the same time. The sexual images that’s usually stuck in my head has slow become more of a soft image. It’s not aggressive anymore, I still have strong urges during the night, but the thought of releasing and becoming depressed after bothers me, so I fight the urges to keep this happiness I haven’t witnessed in 20 years alive. & the urges are strong, feels like someone is taking over my body but that’s my body fighting me because it needs to urge, at the same time I’m rewriting my brain not to jump &. People vibe to me more, I can look people in there eyes without feeling ashamed and looking away, women are more happier around me, my voice has deepened on another level, hard ons rock on, cons are now the porn video loops stuck in my mind are becoming less loud, this habit is trying to morph to sex sites, but I’m fighting that to, images strike at any given moment. Our body is in control until we fight. It’s you vs you for real. This is what porn has done to me, this is my fight after being stuck in a 20 year cycle since the age of 6. I’ll be back at day 20, I will survive, it will not be easy, but we got this.