today is awful

almost 90 days in and I can tell you one thing: just because I will soon pass the magical number of a streak of 90 days porn sobriety doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. today is probably the worst i’ve felt. i feel miserable, controlled by my d*. its stupid. many days I have felt great, reaching new milsestones, changing personally, growing with nee habits, etc., but today feels like everything I do is wrong. I think about it constantly and it kills me. I am not giving in obviously, but it really brings me down today as in I can’t concentrate, nor communicate. On top of that, I haven’t had sex with my girlfriend in some days and my horniness is driving me insane. But this is NOT how it should be and I won’t let this become a pattern. Life is more than just striving for sexual pleasure every day. Just because you’ve done it for some time you cannot get comfortable and lazy. This is an every day fight. Keep it up.