I recently joined quitter after thinking about where my life currently was, I want to change and improve but anytime I try to quit my brain just destroys any will I have. I want to be free of this addiction and I know it won’t get better if I don’t, but I just can’t seem to start. I know I should quit but I also don’t feel a need to and it’s dragging me down. Any advice?
Now build up good animals in your brain…build new highways in your brain…find out what you’re really passionate about and pursue it with all you’ve got! Not sure? Pick a few things and pursue them all until you find the thing(s) you really are into. Pursue them with the same energy, time, effort you used to put into porn…ideally, find something that uses your body, fine motor skills, large muscle groups, that you can work on until you are exhausted every day. THAT’s how you build new great animals, new highways, that will give your brain healthy ways to go and let the old beast shrivel up and die!
You must STOP FEEDING THE BEAST. When you relapse and go back to porn, you are feeding the beast, making it stronger. You have to starve the beast or it will never die. (You have to close all the on-ramps to the neural superhighway highway). That means delete all the socials you got your porn from. Unfollow or unfriend people who sent you porn. Get EFFECTIVE blockers for every browser you keep and leave them alone. Put safe search on all the search engines you use and don’t override them!. Do NOT feed the beast. Do NOT cheat. This is your FREEDOM you are fighting for, you life of peace and joy. Ask yourself: is a little bit of fake pleasure now worth it when I can resist, do something I’d much rather be doing and earn my long life of FREEDOM? I’m telling you, with 61 days of FREEDOM now for myself, there is no comparison, FREEDOM wins! It is WORTH IT!!!! YOU are worth it!!!
Understand why you keep going back: you built up a beast in your brain by feeding the beast with your porn habit over years. (You built a neural super highway). When you do anything, you make neuron connections in your brain…the more often you do the same thing, the more senses you involve and the more intensity/emotion involved, the stronger the connections…you build a neural superhighway…a beast.
To defeat the pressing urges: do ANYTHING but give in! Push-ups, sit-ups, calisthenics, go run or walk, other at-home or go to gym exercise; clean, organize, rearrange your room—especially the area you normally relapse in—change it up drastically!; cook, read something good, watch a good movie, call a safe friend, mom, dad, grandparents (you know you’ve been neglecting them—call them!), write sincere thank you’s to 5 people—just go through your contacts or friends list and grab the first 5 you see who you really want to say thanks to and do it; get out of your room! Cold shower, hot shower, hang out with family (if still at home), safe friends, get on group video with safe friends if you can, research something you are really interested in (but not porn!!), go through your clothes and get rid of stuff you’ll never wear again, go through your things and get rid of stuff you’ll never use again—set the things still good aside to give away to people you know can use them or donate to charity. Whatever you do, do ANYTHING that is not giving in to your urges!
Hang out in the group chat. I share in there often about how to get this done! …
If it means that much to you, you would go to any lengths. If i can be straight with you. And im only doing this bc ur my brother trying to heal…why the fuck do you still have access to porn? Why aren’t you going to Sexual Recovery 12 steps meetings? Are you working on the trauma from the past that got us into this addiction? Again I’m saying this with love, but we need to hear the truth.
It really is about time management. You need to stay active or busy doing something so that you don’t have the time to fall back into it. The best way is to find a hobby that keeps you out of the house, if that’s not feasible, try something that requires your undivided attention. It’s a battle for sure but you can do it.
It’s truly a fight to the death, you need to replace it with something else, that’s the only way, if you try to just stop you leave a hole, and it needs to be filled with something so you just go back for the relief. I’ll be praying for you. God bless.
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You must leave the old beast ALONE! If you keep feeding it, it will stay strong! LEAVE IT ALONE so it can die! AND get lots of quality sleep. During REM sleep is when the brain repairs itself…it’s like little elves come out and clean out the toxins from the day and lubricate all the slide things so they’ll work right so your brain works great the next day….that’’s when the things that are dying away get demolished and taken away with the garbage. Leave the beast alone and let it get torn apart and discarded with the trash! In time (around a month for me) you’ll stop having the urges to go back to the porn all the time. Stay on guard after that…if you’re like me, with nearly 50 years in porn addiction, I will always have to be on guard against the depravity I fed my brain in all the porn I saw. But I am trusting God to renew my mind as I invest my energy into new things, help others to find their FREEDOM, rebuild my life—and find out what living is really like, because I have never experienced it before now! But I’ve got 61 days of FREEDOM now…and IT IS GREAT!