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It’s a hard battle (random dump)

Day 3
by Nate
35 upvotes

3 days strong now but this journey hurts. I talked to my girlfriend the other day about how every time I relapse I feel like I don’t even know who I am, like I’m not the person I thought I was. She did what she can to help and sympathize with me and that did help a lot, but this battle is way harder than I thought, I thought telling people close to me that I trust would make it super easy and it made it easier, but it’s still hard. After I lost my 20 day streak it just got harder and I keep on relapsing after 2 or 3 days. Sometimes I get my old feelings of suicide back but I know that’s not what I need to do. I can beat this, I’m getting closer and closer and learning but sometimes it just feels hopeless and I hate myself. I feel terrible for my girlfriend because I know I’m not being loyal by constantly falling into porn and I really don’t know how she’s so supportive and not mad at me at all. She trying her best to help, now I need to do my best at my part in quitting. Just needed to dump that ig

Comments (2)
Anonymous168d ago

Bro really find a way to keep yourself busy. From the moment you get those temptations, jump up, go somewhere, go do something useful, go gym, go order food, go buy a snack, go make that video or read that paper, don’t give it a chance to ferment in your brain and grow as a temptation

Ian Wooldridge168d ago

Nate you have incredible strength and it sounds like you have an incredible relationship, stay honest and accept grace and love. You are loved 🤟

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