Terrible day today
Didn’t ask her out. Felt regret all day because of it. Got home and jerked off to feel some sort of comfort because all I crave is a connection with someone. Was an escape and I’m so depressed that in the moment I just wished I could stay in that fantasy land but life doesn’t work that way. Felt awful physically and mentally after relapsing then took a fat nap. Went to the gym immediately and had the greatest gym session of my life. Filled with rage, regret, and agony I pushed those weights until I couldn’t no more. Lifted heavier than ever and got more reps. Lifting til failure so I don’t feel like a failure lol. Only place I don’t feel like one. Only place I feel comfortable. Watched magazine dreams the movie for the first time and it was a really depressing movie but it’s peak. Didn’t do any of my work and the missing assignments are adding up, supposed to graduate next month so now’s not the time to fall into this hole. New day tomorrow. New opportunities. Time to bounce back.
Bro almost the same happened to me at the gym tonight i seen this new girl i swear she was looking at me a couple of times throughout her workout. Very beautiful girl i kept trying to think of conversation starters but just never had the balls to do it she eventually left with some other guy which i was shocked cus i didn’t see them talk ro workout together. Don’t know if they are siblings or a couple they got in the same car leaving and again she gave me another glance. Yes right now i still wish i said something just to see if shes taken or not but im taking this as a lesson maybe it wasn’t ment to be im not gonna beat myself up about this and look to porn to solve this tmrws a new day and im gonna go along crushing goals i have, hey who knows maybe i see more cute girls and have another chance to talk and practice conversatimg with woman. U good bro just take what happen as a learning lesson.