What made me TRULY begin to make this change.
I work a lot of hours, video editing with my small business. A lot of hours alone with a computer with stress of constantly exceeding expectations & trying to run a successful business can lead to outlets like watching porn for a stress relief. I am married & have an amazing wife & an amazing one year old daughter. I am so so blessed. Now this is something I have struggled with for years & years & years , but as work stress has mounted & editing back logs have gotten longer I got really heavy into constantly watching porn late at night getting further behind & getting less & less sleep. For purely just stress relief. Just zero self control. One morning, my wife & daughter & I were getting breakfast & she just straight up told me I looked like I’ve aged 5 years in the last 5 months & that I’ve lost that spark in my eye & seemed unhappy. At that moment, I paused & then looked at her & said with so much certainty that I will fix myself. I said I will because I just know deep down inside I really do have it in me to do this. It’s truly mind over matter. She is so sweet & just genuinely was concerned. I never had felt so low in my life because I knew what the root cause was. I never have been unhappy, it’s just porn slowly or quickly can make you a shell of yourself. I have flipped the Switch & haven’t craved it once since. & when that craving comes the Devil will be kicked down. No more time wasted. I have a duty to be the best dad & husband to my precious daughter & wife. I have to be a real man. & I will be proud of myself. I know the urges are coming. I know I’ll face situations where my mind will play tricks on me & try to make excuses to do it. Nope. The dopamine hit I get from being more in tune & mentally present with the two I love the most is no comparison to the fake dopamine hit I get from staring at a screen & wasting my life & manhood away. One source of motivation I really enjoy that I have been trying to apply to my life every day is The Story of Two Wolves. I love it!
You are doing the right thing ma man. If weren’t to stop yourself now, you’d totally derail your marriage and relationship with your daughter. It’s an uphill battle from here. I don’t think the urge will ever truly go away, but either way each day that passes, the smaller and smaller it becomes in your brain. Keep pushing, if you get the urge to masturbate, do so without visual stimulus. Porn was never a natural part of human life, it’s a poison that was created to control us