I didn’t watch porn or anything but I did get close to releasing but when I got that feeling I had stopped before it truly happened and I don’t know if I should count it as a relapse or as a growing moment because I caught myself.
Growing moment but still a relapse, I’d consider that an edge and so you are gaining the same dopamine. Generally masturbation isn’t wrong here but since you are in the very early stages still, it has the same affect so, consider it a relapse, and learn from your mistake!
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I would agree with G here. Don’t beat yourself up about it though. Being able to realize what you’re doing and stopping it is very powerful. However, as we all know, this is a very steep slope so the smallest things can trigger a full on relapse. Instead of toeing the line as close as you can, stay as far away as you can. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but try to be mindful about avoiding anything that could trigger a lustful thought/action