I want to relapse.

Today I want to relapse more than ever. Lately I’ve been depressed more than ever. I want to go back to my old ways. Watching it and JO was a comfort for me. Knowing that I’ve been depressed I want that comfort again. But I haven’t relapsed at all. God has shown me so much grace and given me strength that I didn’t know I had to not relapse. I’m literally battling my thoughts right now to not relapse. I shouldn’t relapse but my mind says “ one more wouldn’t hurt but in fact it would hurt.