Addictions

Many things can be addicting, porn, food, gambling, drugging or drinking. Letting go of one sometimes gives Lee way for another. I’ve quit drinking smoking weed and watching porn all together, now I do still smoke nicotine, which is something that will try me the hardest to let go of but eventually I know I will have too. For the moment I’m chill, me and my girl are having great sex and porn is nowhere on my mind, doesn’t mean I’ve kicked it for good, it’s important to stay humble and not get ahead of myself thinking I can do it by myself and that I’ll never fall down again. My girl does however tell me take a shot with me, or she’ll ask, your not gonna want one when she’s drinking, which is fine I’m not gonna give into it because I made that deal with myself, especially after 6 months of rehab which was a whole process itself, being locked away against my will and which I’m grateful for because it’s a change for the better. Once you’re introduced to things like NA or AA there’s really no way out, I thought why try and keep going on with my stupid ways which did nothing good for me, losing trust, property and my family, being basically homeless. I get it might just be jokes but it does bother me that she does that because to me it’s no joke and there’s nothing funny about it . There’s always gonna be those people who try you, being used by the enemy’s tactics to try and make you fall, being that Christs return is soon and all but if you have set what you want for yourself no one can break you, except yourself. The day you say fuck it I’m gonna drink tonight or get high or watch me some porn is the day you should be worried about because it will come but will power with a group and god, will make it hard for you to fall. Forwards not backwards, just for today, I’m gonna stay clean, just for the night…