Always at my lowest

Every time where I get extremely down, whether thats because school is bad, my ADHD got worse and I can’t focus, my confidence is shot, and I’m sick (which I am rn), I always seem to relapse. I’ve been fighting a relapse for days now, knowing this is the hardest part and I just got to get past Day 6-11, but I didn’t make it this time. But I’m not gonna get too down on myself this time, because I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and just get crap done. I think would Jesus spend His time beating himself up if He made a mistake (ik He never did, just saying this for the sake of the conversation)? Yes I need to be repentant, yes I mist give this up, but feeling bad for myself won’t help that. I refuse to give my brain the reward for doing something bad, whether thats mindlessly scroll after I relapse or eat something to make me feel better. No, own up to what you did, ask for forgiveness, and get back to work, cause no one else will do it for you. I had been on for 8 days, and before that it was 19. Ik I can do this, but its time to finally get over myself and get a life.