Public Decree

I like to think of myself as a man of high integrity; that is, of course, unless I am hiding in the bathroom and looking at pornography while my smoking hot wife is elsewhere in the house and my kids are waiting for me to do something. That said, in the past, I found that when I make a public decree, I tend to stick to it, out of fear of letting myself and others down. Porn is a powerful drug and has been one I have battled with since I was a teenager, although I did not know it was a problem then. All the more reason this is so insidious. To make matters worse, our society is sexualizing and has normalizing this, for young men. I’m here to begin unwiring 25 years of dependency on the most addictive psychological drug available. I feel for our young men coming up today, because it is so much easier to get high definition, high fidelity, extreme and graphic video, pornography, anywhere, anytime. I slipped into its clutches and realize how hard it is to break free from it. At least when I was their age, I had to go through some extra steps to get a hold of a dirty magazine or a VHS. I imagine this is going to be so much harder for these younger guys to break free from. I’m here, because I realized I can’t do this alone. I’m looking for the accountability of a group, who is focused on the same mission I am. I made the decision at beginning of this year that I did not want to be controlled by porn any longer And attempted to quit on my own. That lasted almost a month before I fell off the deep end and slid back into my old ways. My second attempt was about 45 days ago, when I finally broke the news to my wife of my addiction and was fortunate that she was supportive and willing to work with me through this. Almost immediately, our marriage was brought closer than it had been in years and our sex life improved. Then, I relapsed. Talk about shame. I had already told my wife I was doing this and then I had to go tell her that I looked at porn again. Again, she was very supportive and I am fortunate I married a good woman. I know some wives have left their men over this or have shamed them. The reason I am here today is because even after the relapse and committing to my wife that this was something which was still important to me, I found myself trying to cheat and find loopholes. It was the other day as I was convincing myself that using AI tools to undress pictures of my wife and create sex videos with her in it, that this would somehow be okay. I realized it was a wolf in sheep‘s clothing and I am now aware enough to know how dangerous this addiction is. I am here to commit to becoming porn free, but I also understand this is going to be a journey, and there will be days which are harder than others. I am grateful to be on this journey with other men working through the same challenge I am. I look forward to giving you support in your own recovery and also to leaning on some of you when the temptation becomes unbearable. Stay strong and stay the course. We will all work through this together!