how do i stop?

i keep promising to God that i will stop, but i always end up relapsing. it’s like im in a deep hole thats too hard to climb out of, every time I try to climb out, i end up falling back down. post nut clarity hits me like a rock every time, like wtf am i doing with my life? i need to be freed from this. I feel like im disappointing God every single day, i need help. My confidence is low, my social anxiety is at an all time high, and i dont even feel like myself anymore. I have been struggling with this for 3 years and this has to be the year that i gotta stop this stuff.