Relapse Again
I’m feel more ashamed and embarrassed to speak about this addiction, even though that’s what this app is for. Ive been battling porn for a while. There was an actual time when I went 6 or more months without it. And I felt my highest. After that month I relapsed thinking it was a one time thing but it went down hill from there again. Now I can barely go a week without it. I’ve tried everything, but there’s this one thing that I do. I’ll turn my phone off completely, like no social media, no YouTube, nothing. However I get into this state of loneliness. I work in the mornings, I workout and I have people to socialize with in person but I feel a sense of loneliness because I don’t have that emotional connection with a woman, sometimes not really anyone to talk too all the time. Even when I do lock my phone up, I always find someway to unlock it and relapse. This been going on for months now, and I’m more so afraid if I lock my phone up completely, I will be so isolated that I’ll starve and crave for it more, which is a harsh reality. I want to remove myself the world things. Pornography is one of them, social media, all of that. Im trying to focus on God, myself but it’s a hard battle to fight.
Always remember that God is for you, so who can be against you (including this addiction). Every time you fall he is still there wanting to put you back on the path that leads to life in Him. There will be struggles along this path, but don’t give up. God doesn’t want anyone to parish. Continue to focus on Him and His presence will again permeate every area of your life. I will be praying for you.