Food for Thought

I made this as an answer to someone else’s post but figured it would be useful here: I’ll tell you what someone else told me when i asked this question. “It all depends on what your goal is. Are you trying to quit porn? Are you trying to quit masturbating? Are you trying to gain control over yourself? Or are you trying to get closer to God.” It doesn’t matter what your goal is, as long as you know what it is. My goal is to stop giving into temptation, masturbation falls into that. I have serious self control problems. Porn is a major part of it along with nicotine. I used to have drugs and alcohol on top of all of it. I started watching porn and masturbating 20 years ago (im 28). I started drugs freshman year of high school and quit freshman year of college when i decided to quit, drop out, and join the military. I took pills, smoked weed, DMT, MDMA, cocaine, acid, shrooms… basically everything i could get my hands on except heroine. I started nicotine sophomore year of high school and well… thats still going. All of it put together shattered my ego, my confidence, and left me feeling hopeless. I quit drugs cold turkey and drinking is down to maybe once a month. Porn and nicotine is causing me to feel lost in my relationship. Porn caused me to be unfaithful as i was searching for my fantasies elsewhere when my wife wasn’t around. I found myself addicted to kinks that made me feel dirty and ashamed. On top of that, i lost attraction to my wife and wait for her to go to bed (or even get mad and irritable when she takes too long to go to bed). Nicotine, my wife doesnt like, has lead me to hide it making me feel guilty and ultimately resenting her. So, I have beaten drugs and alcohol, now I’m starting on my journey to quit porn and masturbation. It has been hard, I am irritable, constantly fighting myself, trying to convince myself that one more time wont be bad. It hurts internally and externally, and its pushing me into more nicotine use, but one thing at a time you know? My message to everyone is this, keep going, push through, its tough but you arent alone. I am right here along side you, feeling what you are feeling. So many of us are. I may relapse, you may relapse, but at least we are here, doing this together. Every time i feel like i might relapse i get on this app and read what people are saying. It helps tremendously. It reminds me that im not alone. Sincerely, im proud of all those who are making a move to grow and be the men we want to be.