I feel no motivation to quit

Hey brothers, I need some help. I want to quit porn, I want the thoughts to stop dominating. But I don’t feel any motivation strong enough to stay away. I’m married with kids. My wife and I have a good sex life. I haven’t had any issues with ED as of yet (in my 30’s and been watching for twenty years) I don’t particularly appreciate my wife. I’m with her mostly for the kids. She’s great in some aspects but makes my life really difficult and doesn’t stick to a budget or really take care of the house that well so I often don’t feel this desire to even be with her. I am religious and believe in Christ. I just don’t seem to care about anything when the urge hits. I use it to escape from depression and negative feelings. I use it when I’m stressed or bored or triggered from someone I saw at the pool. I’m habitual, probably 2 times a day average user. I hate using and hate myself more for it but when the negative feelings come I just don’t feel motivated enough to quit. Could someone please give me some advice?