Saw the Mother Mary in a video, disgusted with myself
I was gooning as they say. So stupid, i “started” with that thought of oh i just wont finish it will be alright. Going down Reddit rabbit holes, and then came upon a woman whose material was just…… extreme! Finally, i scrolled scrolled, and one video she seemed to be in a church. The next video she was in front of the Holy Mother Mary of Christ. I feel so disgusted with myself. Seeing the Mother, it was like she saw ME through the video, im being 100% honest. How disappointing of a son I am. Instantly closed the tabs, cleared out my incognito tabs on my phone as well. Going to delete that 2nd Reddit account like someone advised, it really is a disgusting place when you partake in it. I know I’m simply trying to coax with loneliness and in my heart I desire to be with a woman I love. I need to take this feeling to heart, how disgusted would my future wife be seeing me in this state??? I will Pray again tonight. And pray in morning. Lord forgive me, I beg you cleanse me in your light….. Kinda related, does anyone have experience with going to church? Or Confession (if Catholic)? What parts of your faith keep you further from Lust and depravity??? God bless you brothers, may God have mercy on us all.
The chief pornographers of our day (and of many prior generations) always delight in blasphemy towards the Christian religion. They hate Christ and the Theotokos. In our shame, we may want to hide from Christ our God, or may be despairingly deceived that His most pure Mother would refuse to intercede for us with Him, who heeded her intercessions at Cana. But fear not: they both desire our salvation much more than we even desire it ourselves. They await our repentance and respond lovingly to our requests for help when we earnestly intend to accept that help.