Since I was nine.

This has had me in its grips since I was nine. I’m so tired of this shit man. I keep letting myself slip. It’s just one more day, how bad could it be? That’s been happening my whole life. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have space for this in my life. That’s a lie. I do have space for this in my life, because I make space for it. I make time to relapse, I create opportunities to do this shit to myself. The truth is, part of me doesn’t want to quit. Because once I quit, what can I blame my laziness on? I’m so tired. I want this to be over. I know how to end this, but I don’t know if I have the strength to cut this poison out.