I need to come clean
Part of my recovery i feel i need to lay all my cards on the table so i have nothing to revert back to. For the past 6 years Ive been building a complete online goon persona. I have a second of everything just for porn. A goon phone thats only used for accessing twitter reddit and various porn websites and a MacBook that acts as my goon library. My reddit account is following 300+ subreddits and 150+ accounts which just turned into goon death-scrolling. Anything i liked got saved to my library and i would later sort and categorize. I could start naming actresses and videos and even provide links from my collection when others were searching. My twitter has daily security checkpoints to verify I’m not a bot.. thats when i realized my problem’s bigger than i had originally anticipated. My goon library has maxed out the available space and i think its time to burn it all. I can’t yet but i know i need to. For the time being both have been drained of power and out of my possession. Reddit and twitter log-ins are tied to those devices so they’re out of grasp. Today will make 6 days strong. Im fighting hard but my willpower continues to prevail. I do miss the dark communities i built but I’m looking looking optimistically forward to building meaningful relationships in the real world. Oh and a deep brain scrub with lots of soap and hot water.
You have to keep yourself busy to distract you in these early days. If you work a 9-5, go to the gym, drive uber or doordash if you stay up late. You need to remember how bad you feel after you entertain those things. Try praying for help, Jesus saves