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I’ve come so far, but I fear I’ll never escape

Day 0
by Elijah
112 upvotes

Despite coming so far, I feel like I’ll never fully escape porn addiction. I used to be badly addicted to porn. I watched every few days and couldn’t go even a couple of days with watching it. But, after reading The Easy Peasy Method a few times, my desire for porn has slowly subsided. I realize that it just isn’t satisfying. But I still struggle. I always stumble across something tempting on Instagram. I either masturbate to or much worse I look up escorts online and masturbate to their pictures (I would never actually hire an escort, but I fantasize about it because I feel like it’s the only way I could actually have sex anytime soon.) For some reason, a few seconds after looking at the naked pics of escorts, I’m disgusted and get off those sites. But I still finish masturbating. I’ve come so far. But I feel like I’ll never truly escape and just keep taking a peek every week or so and keep myself chained down forever. It’s really depressing. I don’t want to live my life like this, but I don’t think about that when I’m masturbating to these awful things. I’m writing this now because I just relapsed and I need to get it off my chest. I’m definitely deleting Instagram because I realize that is a big time trigger for that. I’m still just concerned I’ll never truly escape. I’ve prayed to God about this so much, but I’m still trapped.

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