I think i seriously need help.
I’m a 23 yr old man, and i started watching porn around 11 yrs old. I quickly discovered I have a foot fetish, and this started a really insane spiral for last 12 years. It was innocent at first just watching porn that focused on feet, but i eventually found myself on Twitter/X getting off to guys being degraded and used for their fetish and intense BDSM and Master/slave dynamics. I even got myself into findom, and I can’t see a way out of this for myself. All I think about is feet and porn and paying other guys. It’s a daily addiction, I’m turning to porn and masturbating upward of three times a day and hate myself because of it. But I also can’t deny that I’ve found some really great relationships thru being in that community. Is the right thing sacrificing those relationships for my mental health?? I think the answer is yes but I need support.
The right thing is to stop engaging in those relationships. You’re experiencing something purely parasocial and it doesnt genuinely benefit you in any way. I used to be really into onlyfans, spent probably close to $2000, maybe more, over 3 years to interact with these girls, some of whom i knew in real life, which disturbs me, and even a couple others that i had actually had a physical relationship with which is depressing to think about in hindsight. Work on developing in person relationships with peers, go out to a bar, join a club, exercise more and eat healthy and it will vastly improve the way you feel